One More Time
by Penguin-chan
Summary: He’s remembering now, and Hisoka’s looking for answers. But is the truth any better than the lie? Angst & implied romance. Sequel to The Perfect Day.


f**One More Time** by **Penguin**

_It's been years since I wrote something. Oo; Some of you guys were asking for a sequel to "The Perfect Day" so, two years later, here it is. Haha. You have to read it to understand this, though. Reviews would be appreciated._

_For those who haven't read it yet, just look it up in my profile._

**Warning/s****:** I warn you against bad writing, bad bosses, conspiracy theories, separated lovers, etc.

**Summary****:** He's remembering now, and Hisoka's looking for answers. But is the truth any better than the lie? (Angst & romance. Sequel to The Perfect Day.)

--

The memories were coming back, slowly, languidly and it's killing him not knowing. He wonders if he's insane and if everything, all these memories are just illusions fabricated by a lonely mind. But all these ideas... they couldn't all be right, but they couldn't all be wrong. Surely these illusions had a shred of truth in them, right?

"What are you thinking about? You look serious," Hijiri asked.

Hisoka looked at his foster brother, surprised at the newfound distrust he bore for him. Since his accident last week, his memory was fuzzy. At first, he had trouble remembering things, but everything was slowly coming back. He had bruises all over his body from a fall, as Hijiri explained. It seemed ridiculous to Hisoka that a fall would give him that many cuts and bruises.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about the book I read the other day, Kafka on the Shore."

"You know, you can be such a nerd. I wonder why all these people like you at school!" Hijiri laughed, his relief barely concealed.

And Hisoka wonders, _what does he have to hide?_

--

Always men with striking eyes. They haunted his dreams, filled him with dread and longing and grief so deep; all inexplicable. When he dreamed of the man with the silver eyes, he found himself fixed with horror, found himself afraid – no, _terrified_, but angry.

And this other man... this man with the purple eyes; he filled Hisoka with such longing that even when the boy awoke, his chest would be heavy still for hours, the ache in his heart rendering him paralyzed at times.

He had tried suppressing these feelings, reasoned that they were all just absurd fantasies and no cause for concern. But ignoring them didn't stop them.

So he tried a new plan. If he was observant enough, then maybe he'd find out _why_ these dreams were coming to him, why he felt, with absolute certainty that he _knew_ who these phantom men were.

When he opened his mind to this idea, the memories started trickling in – at first, slowly but readily and then becoming more urgent as his desire to know the truth increased with every passing day.

He never told anyone, not even Hijiri.

--

_Racing through the fire, I grabbed a hold of his collar upon reaching him. When he remained distant and passive, his gaze directed at phantoms and shadows and fire licking and dancing in a morbid tango over existence and nothingness… I screamed at his face._

"_You idiot! What are you doing here? You're going to get yourself killed! Let's get out __now__!"_

_Acknowledging my presence for the first time, he looked me softly and knitted his eyebrows. He closed his eyes in an attempt to drown out the despair._

"_Hisoka. Leave."_

"_Idiot… you can't make me go back. Where I belong is here. By your side."_

_Saying nothing, he pulled me closer and I tightened my hold on his body. I buried his face into the man's chest, fought off the tears and sobbed quietly when I couldn't hold it in any longer. I could feel that we both wanted to say more, to do more, but the flames were already snapping at our skin… _

--

Always, always that man with the purple eyes.

He didn't know his name but he knew mundane, recollected details. How he smelled like sugar and sake, the warm fold of his hug, his soft and heavy coat, _how he was always late for work... _

His heart ached thinking about him. Who was he? Why did he know about him?

--

In Meifu, two men were seated, sipping coffee.

"He's beginning to get his memories back. I can feel the spell weakening."

"And how many times has this happened, Konoe?"

"This would make it the twenty seventh time in two and a half years."

"What a tenacious boy."

"Yes."

"And you've thwarted him, every single time?"

"Yes, sir."

"Interesting."

--

He had to know. So many pieces didn't fit, everything that had once seemed so clear to him were confusing him. When they studied ancient customs in school, as well as old beliefs, their teacher had mentioned _fudas_. His teacher had passed one around the room to let every study see for themselves. When it was Hisoka's turn, he felt a vague sense of familiarity and words flowed easily into his mind. He felt a surge of power course through his body when he traced his fingertips along the characters.

But that wasn't all. He could _feel_ other people. At first, he credited it to mere intuition. But as time passed, he could feel his ability becoming stronger to the point where he knew what other people were thinking and he had to make a conscious effort to block out all alien emotions.

--

_Blood, pools of blood._

This can't be happening.

_Wake up, Hisoka, wake up._

_I rubbed my eyes but the vision didn't change. When I stepped, blood splashed. There was a sea of corpses._

_A man was kneeling, mute, but he was crying. I could feel a thick air of grief cling to him. I walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder._

"_Stop it. It's not your fault."_

"_But... I let her go, Hisoka. It was me. If I didn't do it, then all these people wouldn't have died!" He was a mess now; he could barely speak._

_I hugged him. "Idiot. It's _not_ your fault. She was manipulating our minds. You couldn't help it. You're only human."_

_The man simply shook his head._

--

Another memory. Hisoka rubbed his temples, willing his headache away. The more he opened his mind to the memories, the worse his headaches became. He had taken to taking painkillers in large doses. He swallowed two aspirins and made coffee.

"Killer headache, Hisoka?" Hijiri asked with concern. "Maybe you should sleep it off."

"No, I'm all right," he replied.

"Are you sure? I could come with you to the doctor if you want."

_He was like this when he first came here. He had this awful headache and he was always asking for Tsuzuki... I'm glad he forgot, it would break his heart if he knew..._

"What did you say?" Hisoka snapped.

His brother looked surprised. He remembered Hisoka's empathy.

"I... I said that I'd come with you to the doctor."

"No, not that. The other one, Hijiri."

"I didn't say anything else. Maybe you're just hearing things because of your headache."

_Worry, frustration, sadness... Why was Hijiri feeling those?_

"...all right. I'll sleep now. Good night, Hijiri."

_Tsuzuki._

_He had asked for Tsuzuki._

--

He had to focus. Two more memories had come to him. They were vague, but it was better than nothing. He still couldn't recognize the people in his memories but he could piece a few memories together.

One, he had worked with the purple... no, _Tsuzuki_, he was sure, at an office.

Two, something horrible had happened. Many people had died, and they were to blame for it.

Third... and this one filled him with doubt, but... from what he could understand he was supposed to be dead. To be caught in a fire like that... no human could survive it, at least not without heavy damage, right?

--

Hisoka woke up, a scream dying in his throat. He felt his body burning until he was filled with pain so intense that he wanted to die.

_You demon._

_Abomination!_

_You are _not_ my child!_

_My beautiful doll..._

_Tonight, the moon is tainted with blood._

He clasped a hand to his mouth to muffle his groans. His nightmare (or was it a memory?) had been so vivid. He had dreamt about who he supposed were his parents – his mother tearing herself away from him and his father looking on with spite in his eyes. The moon was full that night, just as it was now, and seemed to be emanating a red glow. He had wandered out on an impulse and... oh, gods... Hisoka held his head.

A man had defiled him.

And not content with that, he had cursed him in the most painful way possible, while whispering poisonous endearments in his ear. _You're beautiful, just like a doll. It's a pity you have to die._

Hisoka cursed under his breath. The pain was slowly abating but he couldn't go back to sleep. He could feel silver eyes watching his every move.

--

From the start, the day was bad. Hisoka hadn't gotten more than two hours of sleep, their new Economics teacher seemed to hate him (well, at least that seemed to be the case since he kept looking at Hisoka as if he had done something wrong) and Hijiri's recital had gone badly. He never played badly before, but he seemed to be edgy today. Hisoka was, too, following his nightmare.

"Kurosaki-kun, I wish to speak to you."

Damn. It was their new teacher. He had said his name so coldly that Hisoka wondered if he knew that he was only adopted. Something about him scared him, although he was calm and composed, there seemed to be a feral edge in his new teacher. The worst part was that he couldn't sense his thoughts and feelings like he could with other people. He was unreadable, unpredictable, and that made him dangerous.

"Tatsumi-san," Hisoka said. "I have to go home. What was it that you wanted to..."

_Shadows were dancing around me. They seemed to be battling with tendrils of fire._

_I could feel my consciousness slipping, but I still held onto the man tightly. I would _not_ abandon him. Suddenly, blackness enveloped us. I saw a man at the outskirts, just a step away from the chaos. He had a hand outstretched and he was looking at our entwined figures._

"Tatsumi-san! Were you at a fire?"

He seemed taken aback at the question.

"I... Kurosaki-kun... why do you ask that?"

"It just came into my mind. ...were you?"

"Yes. I was."

Hisoka's heart started racing. "What happened? Where was it? Why..."

Tatsumi bade him to sit down.

"...why do I have these awful memories?"

His teacher's eyes widened in surprise. He had no idea that the boy would remember so quickly, after he had renewed the spell, placing greater power and effort than the last time. And it had only been a week.

"It's complicated."

The boy's eyes narrowed. "Who _are_ you?"

"I'm Tatsumi Seiichirou, secretary of JuOhCho."

_JuOhCho._

The name sounded familiar to him.

"And I don't normally go to cases, but this is a... special case, Kurosaki-kun. Are you remembering now?"

The boy didn't speak. His mind seemed to be in a far-off place, trying to recollect something.

"Enma DaiOh has taken a special interest to your case. He is under the impression that your talents are going to waste here." He paused, eyeing the boy warily. "Kurosaki-kun, focus! This is your second chance."

"What... I don't understand..."

Tatsumi shook his head. "Of course. You're still under the spell." He placed a hand on Hisoka's forehead and chanted softly, his words blurring together. Hisoka could feel his headache lifting and clouds shrouding his memories disappearing.

--

_Broken, broken — everything was broken!_

_You'll forget about me. They'll make you._

_I'll make you remember..._

_I am Muraki._

_Wouldn't that be wonderful? A new life for the boy._

--

"I'm in Meifu," Hisoka said. He looked at Tatsumi, then at the expectant faces surrounding him.

His co-workers were surrounding him, and their emotions were almost enough to overpower him. _Anxiety, excitement, guilt, hopefulness, curiousity..._

"Welcome back, Hisoka."

Konoe Kachou.

"Where's Tsuzuki?" Hisoka demanded. He had so many unanswered questions, so many things to think about, that he didn't want to address their betrayal before finding out what he wanted. "Am I still dead?"

"Tsuzuki's safe. He's resting here," Konoe said. "And no, you were given life again."

"I don't want it." His voice was petulant, and he was aware of how childish he sounded.

"That seems ungrateful of you, considering what you've done." Konoe took Hisoka by the arm and led him to the privacy of his office. There, he took a manila folder from his desk and handed it to the boy.

"What's this?"

"What you've done."

Hisoka opened the folder. In it were pages and pages of clippings. _Earthquake kills 34 people, 15 in critical condition. Unexplained killing spree, 21 victims. Great fire in Kyuushu, 18 dead. Serial killer strikes again, 4 victims_. _Day of mourning for Japan._ He flipped the pages and saw similar headlines, the deaths adding up to ungodly numbers.

"This... wasn't our doing. It was hers." His voice sounded weak and the boy sounded like he doubted himself.

"All of these deaths, these pointless deaths, could have been avoided if you had done your job in the first place. This is the worst failure JuOhCho has ever..." The chief stopped. The boy was crying, and it was the first time he had ever seen him cry. "Kurosaki-kun..."

"He couldn't have known, chief..."

"I... even if that were the case... I... you know that this has been hard on me too," he finally said, professionalism slipping. "But you had it easy. You were given amnesty. More than that, you were given a second chance at life." The old man sounded almost envious.

"At the expense of Tsuzuki... Where is he?" The boy said, dread rising in his chest. No one had answered him when he asked about Tsuzuki. "I don't want a second chance. I want _Tsuzuki_. It isn't his fault."

Konoe sighed and looked at the boy thoughtfully.

"He's safe. But... he's unresponsive. He doesn't recognize anyone, or even do anything. Sometimes, he talks, but not much. Enma made a deal with him. I don't know the terms of their agreement, but I can speculate."

Hisoka was at a loss for words. His boss continued, "He seems stripped off his powers, his shikigamis, of his life, even. Or maybe he just gave up."

"I..." Hisoka was biting his lip, blood rising to his lip before the cut could heal. What had Tsuzuki become?

"It was all for you."

The final barb. Hisoka fell to the floor, his body seeming to be burdened by a mound of grief and guilt.

--

Tatsumi and Hisoka were walking to Tsuzuki's room in the infirmary. Both were lost in their thoughts, Hisoka refusing to speak to anyone except when needed.

_Is he okay?_

_What will happen to us now?_

_What if he doesn't recognize me?_

Tatsumi knocked on the door. "Tsuzuki, Kurosaki-kun is here."

When the secretary pushed the door open, Hisoka saw a husk of a man. The room was bare, save for a bed, a bedside table and a chair. The window overlooking Meifu's constant scenary was fitted with iron grills, giving the impression of the room being a prison. Hisoka shuddered.

"Tsuzuki..." Hisoka said, using his empathy on the man. He couldn't feel him. He used to be an explosion of emotions, but now he was just... _empty_.

"Tatsumi-san, is there any way for him to go back to the way he was?" Hisoka asked worriedly, his anger giving way to concern.

"I'm afraid we haven't found a way yet," he said gravely. "I'll leave you alone with him for a while. You will resume your shinigami duties with a new partner next week."

With that, Tatsumi left the room. Hisoka swore under his breath.

"Did you hear that, Tsuzuki? They're going to pair me with someone else."

Tsuzuki was unresponsive. He was seated on his bed, his back turned and his gaze towards the window. Hisoka wondered what was it that was so interesting outside.

"Damn you, you idiot, listen to me!"

Silence, still. Tsuzuki half turned to look at him, but the boy saw no glimmer of recognition in his eyes.

"You idiot, after everything I went through just to get to you, you're just going to ignore me?" Hisoka was fuming. He grabbed Tsuzuki by the shoulders and shook him. "Wake up!"

"You're not him," Tsuzuki finally said, his voice expressionless.

_But there was hope._

Hisoka couldn't stop a small smile from reaching his lips. "I'm really here, Tsuzuki."

"No, he never smiles."

"You idiot."

"But you're better than the last time. You look more real," he said.

Had Tsuzuki gone mad? "You idiot; you're so dense. What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm real? I'm getting a new partner, probably someone who isn't as stupid as you, and you're not going to do anything about it?"

_Confusion_.

The man looked perplexed. But at least he was finally feeling something. Hisoka took that as a good sign. What else could he be feeling?

The boy hugged the man, feeling him. There was nothing to be felt until he dug deeper and deeper and...

_Confusion._

_Guilt._

_He's punishing me again._

"Tsuzuki... you're not being punished..."

_Lies._

_We're going to Chijou._

_Hisoka is in Chijou, enjoying his new life. He's forgotten about everything._

_I'm sorry Hisoka._

_Tsuzuki, don't leave me..._

Hisoka hugged him closer still, trying to feel more of the man.

_You'll forget about me. They'll make you._

"I didn't let them, Tsuzuki," the boy whispered. "So come back you idiot. I need you. _Please_."

He released the man and stood. Tsuzuki was looking at him now, eyebrows raised, in disbelief.

"Hisoka?" he asked hesitantly.

"It took you long enough to figure that out!" Hisoka said, pretending to be irritated, but his tears betrayed him.

"Is it really you?"

"No, I'm the tooth fairy. Of course it's me, stupid!"

"I... I didn't think we'd ever meet again. I missed you."

"I'd be lying if I said I missed you all the time."

The man's face fell.

"...because they were always trying to make me forget. But the times that I did remember, I missed you, terribly. And when I couldn't remember, I was always missing something."

"Oh."

"What will happen now?"

"Enma suspended me. I can't work anymore."

"Why are you still here, then?"

"Think about it, Hisoka. With no more reason to live for, why would I want to be here? He made me stay because I didn't _want_ to be here."

Hisoka started pacing around the room. What was going to happen to Tsuzuki? He didn't want to be paired with someone else, but the important thing was that he was with Tsuzuki again. The boy felt a pair of arms envelop him.

"Don't..." Hisoka was blushing furiously, "don't leave me again."

The man pressed him closer to his chest in response.

_Relief, comfort, love._

_Live for my sake..._

_Is it all right if I stay with you?_

He was home.

--

"Why did you let them off so easily?"

The man laughed, his fingers tapping his desk. He paused thoughtfully, and looked at the seemingly older man. "I have what I want now. And shinigamis of their calibre are hard to come by. Why waste them?"

"I see... And of Tsuzuki? How will he work without his shikigamis?"

"Don't underestimate him."

"..."

"I couldn't take more than five."

"He still has seven, sir?"

"Yes."

They were silent, until the man said, "He wanted to disappear. But it's not going to be easy. His hope will always be stronger than his guilt," he was quiet for a moment. "He waited. I didn't force him to stay, if that's what you're thinking. He waited, for the boy. I'm not as heartless as you may think. I wanted to see a spark of life in Tsuzuki, just one more time. Do you understand, Konoe?"

The chief wasn't so sure that he did, but he nodded.

He couldn't understand Enma's reasons, but he did know one thing.

Everyone deserved a second chance.

* * *

_My writing style changed, huh? Anyway, I don't intend this be a big work of art or something like that. I only wanted to give an ending to something I started so long ago. At first, the ending was supposed to be tragic, but it didn't fit. And besides, after everything Tsuzuki and Hisoka went through, it just wouldn't be fair, right? :)_

No matter what I do, the text formatting turns out messy. ):

_Anyway, drop me a line! Give a review or hit me up for a chat. I'd love to know what you think._


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